Posts tagged ‘coming out’
How was your Halloween, ladies? I hope it was filled with a lot of girls in cute outfits, because that’s what mine was. Before you think, “Well of course it was…it’s Halloween!” But aaaaaaah, my friend, you have no idea.
I went to an anime convention for Halloween. It was probably the best Halloween I’ve ever had, and I will continue to do that as long as I can. There was so much anime. There were loud conversations about Pokemon, DDR, fighting games, dancing, booze, and most importantly, COSPLAY! So much cosplay! Costumes from animes I’ve never even heard of and that aren’t even released in the U.S. probably, and lots of girls cross-dressing as their favorite anime guys. Sometimes I forget why I like anime, and then I remember when I am surrounded by some of the most adorably awkward people you’ll ever meet.
I also got to take pictures of pretty girls, like this one:
Didn’t know THAT was what you’d see at an anime con, huh? Besides the hot girls in costumes, it was mostly just great being able to spend time with my roommates in a way that only we can appreciate. We played video games together, talked about anime, talked and played with other random people, and also drank a lot of lime-vodka and Diet Pepsi, which actually tasted good, and caused one of my roommates to go a little berserk after his energy powder kicked in.
FYI: don’t take more than your recommended dosage of B12, especially right before drinking booze.
Going to this anime convention has really liberated me, and made me feel more open about myself. For whatever reason, I’ve always kept that part of myself hidden from certain groups of friends, because I thought that they would judge me for it. I’ve realized recently though, that a lot of my friends are just as geeky as I am, or that people I didn’t expect watch anime or play games. I’ve been able to deepen my relationships with people simply by talking about geeky things that I like. Now I don’t feel scared to talk to people about anime or games, because the chances that they’ll accept my geekiness is higher than I think. Sure, sometimes people give me strange looks, or have a snarky comment, but it’s mostly related to their ignorance about geek-life and issues.
HMMMMM…you know what this sounds like?
COMING OUT AS GAY!
It’s the same thing. EXACTLY the SAME. I recently came out to my roommates, and it was completely fine. They pretty much knew, but now me, my male roommate, and my other lesbian roommate can talk about girls more. We give each other advice, and joke about it constantly now. It has really changed the dynamic of my household for the better, and in EXACTLY the SAME way that talking to my friends about my geekdom has changed the dynamics of my life and how I carry myself. It has also given me a little more strength to come out to my friends, or to just talk about gay things without fear, because chances are they’ll accept it. It’s just another part of who I am.
Hm, now I go to bed.
Hi there! I’m Emily, and I’m a baby-gay!
Because I KNOW you’d be disappointed if I didn’t, I’m going to make my first post about…*drumroll*…my coming out story!
In high school I never had a boyfriend, but I never really WANTED one. Part of that I figured was that all of the boys in my town are losers. I never dated girls, but I knew a lot of lesbians. It never really occurred to me that I might be gay, actually. I always just figured that I wasn’t into dating. Part of that was probably my suppressed sexuality from my Roman Catholic upbringing (yay Catholic guilt!). I was also a top-notch student, and ended up being valedictorian in high school, so I told myself I didn’t have time for boys. Silly me.
Fast-forward to the end of my sophomore year of college. I was dating a short, awkward, trombonist because he was the first boy to ever ask me out on a date (how did I not know I was gay before? hm?). He was super nerdy, really sweet, and took me to coffee and the art museum for our first date. He made blueberry-banana jam with toast for our second date while we watched a God-awful movie on TiVo. He told me I was beautiful and talented all the time. With my equal amount of nerdyness, butterflies should have been spinning around in my stomach. But no such luck.
At the same time I was taking an acting class through the university. While getting to know the people in my class, I knew that I really wanted to become friends with this one girl: Anna. She was super cute and a little awkward (the right balance I think), and she always had the cutest hats and jackets when she came to class. The few conversations I had with her consisted of her explaining her “Sexuality in Ancient Rome” class and her intense love for all things The Legend of Zelda.
I was in love. Every time I saw her I got the butterflies, and there was one day in class where we had to lead a partner around the theatre building by the hand with their eyes closed, and I got all nervous and goosebumpy and felt like I was in middle school or something. I had questioned my sexuality before, but she was the last straw I think. I realized it wasn’t working with Trombonist, so I dumped him as compassionately as I could. You know what he said?:
“But I love you!”
My first thought:
I knew something was different right then. Luckily, I had lots of friends to complain to, and one friend in particular that came to my place with Reese’s cups to tell me that she was gay! Yay! She told me her story about how she knew she was and blahblahblahfeelings, then she said to me with knowing eyes, “Do you want to talk about anything?” Of course, instead of talking about breaking up with Trombonist, I said, “What do you mean by that?!” At that point I couldn’t hide it, so I told her what I’d been sort of thinking. She nodded knowingly and said that she had 3 reasons for coming over:
1) “I knew you’d just broken up with Trombonist, and figured you needed someone to talk to.”
2) “I had something to tell you anyway.” (that she was gay, duh)
3) “I had an inkling about you.”
After that everything went crazy for me. I talked to her about it, then told a few of her gay friends, told my gay best friend, told my straight best friend, made out with a girl at a club (we’re friends now and calls me her little lesbian prodigée), told my mom and sister, and am now back at school ready to be a raging gay.
Everything’s going very well, but my current dilemma is: How to Tell Your Roommates You’re a Lady-Lover. For me, it’s all a matter of JUST FUCKING TELLING THEM. I know they’re fine with it. Two of them probably ARE lesbians, and yet I still can’t seem to just say it. Part of me thinks that I’m waiting for the right moment when I can tell all of them, but that would be fucking cray-cray. Another part of me thinks that I’m just going to let them find out WHICH at this point seems to be what’s happening anyway. If I told them, perhaps I could conveniently use National Coming Out Day and bake a rainbow cake?
A delicious, unhealthy, but possibly successful solution to the puzzle. Let me know what you think! Let me know your coming out stories, delicious cakes you’ve baked, or even how much you love The Legend of Zelda, because then we can definitely be friends.