Ashly Burch

November 21, 2010 at 7:34 pm 9 comments

I recently made a beautiful discovery through my male, straight roommate (believe me, those two distinctions go hand in hand). We showed me this video:

This was the first conversation that we had about her:

Me: Aaaah! So cute! Ashly’s so cute! She has to be gay!

Roommate: Noooooo! No way she’s gay! I haven’t been getting that feeling, and I’m usually right about girls.

Me: Uh, [Roommate], she’s gay.

Roommate: You’re wrong!

Me: She’s swearing like a sailor!

Roommate: That doesn’t matter!

Me: She’s rapping with a sideways baseball cap!

Roommate: Lots of girls do that!

Me: [Roommate]! Now she’s wearing a suit and tie. Give it up.

After this particular conversation, my roommate and I went on a war, based around determining the sexual orientation of this elusive creature. We both began to obsessively watch as many videos as we could in the next few days, along with looking at the HAWP website, listening to the Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin’ Podcast, and in my case downloading a tile wallpaper of Ashly Burch. She also has a DVD on Amazon. Just sayin’.

My other gay roommate agrees that she’s gay, but my straight roommate couldn’t tell (of course, she couldn’t tell with me either). Honestly, I’m starting to doubt myself, especially because, shockingly, my gaydar is not very good. My gut reactions are always a certain way, but then I start to over-analyze everything about this person, and suddenly my gaydar BREAKS. This is an unfortunate pattern in my life. Apparently my roommate has the same problem though.

Here’s my evidence:

– Baseball cap

– Rapping

– Tank-top

– Suit (in multiple videos)

– Lots of swearing

– Super cute smile

– Really really awesome

– Plays with NERF guns

– Super huge eyes

I realize that most of these don’t make sense. I’m OK with that, because I really want her to be gay. If you talked to my roommate, he would have an equally nonsensical list at the ready. This is why I can’t tell: because no matter how much I watch her videos…I STILL can’t tell. I think it would have been obvious by now, either way, so I’ve decided to just not care.


Entry filed under: Gaydar, Girlies, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , .

Coming out is like being a geek To be, or to date?

9 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Anthony Burch  |  April 18, 2011 at 10:03 pm

    She’s not gay.

    • 2. Junko  |  April 18, 2011 at 10:15 pm

      Noted. Thank you Mr. Burch.

    • 3. no  |  September 24, 2012 at 9:45 am

      Way to put fuel on the nerd-stalker fire for your sister.

      You are both fucking awesome, if I do say so, myself.

  • 4.  |  July 27, 2012 at 9:01 pm

    you BASTARD.
    I swear if what you’ve mentioned here actually turns her gay i’m going to kick your ass!
    this is my sex fantasy of the, err lets saaaay month

  • 5. Alaina  |  August 29, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    I think its funny that Anthony Burch found this. Was he purposely looking for websites that suggested his sister is gay? Because I was….don’t be offended she is hot and funny!

    • 6. Heidi  |  October 17, 2012 at 4:38 pm

      Hahahaha omg I hope he was specifically looking for sites that mention she’s gay.

  • 7. Muffinz  |  October 11, 2012 at 11:17 pm

    so… she could be bi, right?

    • 8. Heidi  |  October 17, 2012 at 4:39 pm

      You’re my hero.

  • 9. Alaina  |  October 18, 2012 at 3:05 am

    lol I think he is my hero too.
    Did you see the Hot Slutz HAWP yet?


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