Hetero Wedding

October 14, 2010 at 8:19 am 2 comments

I went to a wedding this weekend. It was the perfect fall wedding. The chapel was small and intimate, the bride was gorgeous, the weather was perfect, and the trees were on fire with fall colors. I brought one of my gay-male friends to assure that my date would look, dance, and act smashingly. Which both of us did. The day before the wedding I had to make an emergency-hyper-shopping-mode trip to the mall because I forgot my heels. I only had yellow converse. I also ended up buying a dress to match, so I looked damn cute.

After the wedding we headed over to the reception, and my friends and date and I all walked around a bit until some other people sat at the temple. Looking around, it seemed as if we were the “kids table,” even though the other “kids” were probably in their mid-twenties. Everything was fine, until we started talking about where we went to school:

Asshole: “She goes to that dyke school, Notre Dame.”
*Everyone laughs, including my friends and I out of shock.*
Asshole: “Her sister even played softball there.”
*Another laugh from Asshole’s friends.*
Asshole: “But now she’s married to a man, which is a good thing.”

I don’t think I have to explain why this is offense. My friends and I were all completely shocked, and the man’s girlfriend realized immediately that we were offended. My date went to the bathroom while I tried to keep eating, and then my friend and I both went to the bathroom to explode. They tried to explain themselves, of course, but it only dug them into a deeper hole.

This was the first time that I’ve ever experienced any discrimination, directly or indirectly. These people didn’t mean anything by it, but their ignorance really hurt. Luckily, I have really good friends, and my friend’s boyfriend told them:

“Hey, you know that he’s gay right? And she’s also gay.”

They felt awful. Asshole apologized the rest of the night, and tried to make up with my date the rest of the night, and ended up getting us Captain and Cokes the rest of the night. I’ve never felt so discriminated before, but I’ve also never felt so proud of my friends, or so happy with how the world has progressed. A few years ago even, they might not have even tried to accept us.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that it was a pretty eye-opening experience for me. I knew that someday I would face discrimination, but I expected to be angry and ready for a fight, and not having to forgive them so quickly. It also made me to realize that it is better to play nice, and people are more willing to ask for forgiveness.


Entry filed under: Uncategorized. Tags: , , .

A very-merry weekend My gaydar sucks

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. nomoreworkhorse  |  October 17, 2010 at 10:25 am

    That’s a beautifully written piece, and a sad tale. I think all of us know that there’s still bigots and prejudice out there, its just a bit better hidden these days. Sad but true. At least they felt bad about it, which is something, may make them think twice next time.

    • 2. Emily  |  October 17, 2010 at 10:46 am

      Thank you. I think that it really did make them think, which is all that we can hope for with people like that.


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